On Becoming a Mother: The Other Side of the Coin

Hello readers! I found some time to sit down and write...something I count as a huge victory considering the chaos that is my life now.  It's truly a circus around here, but who doesn't love the circus? That said, if you came to my house at 5 pm every evening, you might decide having kids isn't for you :-).

I've been thinking a lot lately about what happens to a woman when she becomes a mother for the first time. Perhaps it's because I have a few friends who have just taken on this new and mysterious role . . . and perhaps our family's addition of baby #2 has me reflecting on what it was like to welcome Isaiah. I've read countless articles online and from friends regarding this change, and rightly so: becoming a mother is a huge transition, requiring you to take on an entirely new identity. It isn't just "you + a baby." The former you really ceases to exist as it was before.  It's one of those impossible-to-explain changes, one for which there is no preparation. You simply have to walk the road for yourself, learning in time and with experience who you are, now that you're a mom.

Most of the articles I've read have focused on the things you lose when assuming this new identity. To be frank, you do lose a lot. I miss the oodles and oodles of free time I had or being able to pick up and go wherever I wanted to go. I miss deep, peaceful sleep. But these are all commodities that will return one day, I'm sure before I can even turn around. I don't mind that this season is so drastically different than anything I've experienced before. Seasons, by definition, only last for a time. And I have a sneaking suspicion that when I do have more free time once again, it won't be as satisfying as it once was. I already know that I'm going to miss the chaos and Sesame Street and the sound of toy cows mooing and play cars zipping across the floor. Who knows, I may even miss the sound of both my children yowling, beginning at 5 pm on the dot, whilst I'm trying desperately to cook dinner . . . there's something to be said for a house full of the sounds of life.

At any rate, this whole idea of how motherhood changes you has had me thinking about the other side of that coin: how have I changed for the better? Honestly, there are a lot of things I've lost that I hope never return again. I've lost the laser-focus I once had on myself--my feelings, my thoughts, my needs, etc. I've lost the ennui inherent in such a self-centered life. I've lost any and all perceived ability to handle life apart from the power of the Holy Spirit. It's amazing how a tiny human being can bring you to your knees before God!

In comparing myself now to who I was before becoming a mom, I feel extremely grateful to have lost these things. In a way, it feels as though the LORD scooped me up close to Him, whispering ever so gently and kindly, "it's time to let these things go." Mind you, I'm certainly not saying that you must become a parent to experience this kind of change! I'm only sharing my experience . . . where once there was immense self-focus and self-reliance, there is now more kindness and humility. Parenthood is simply the vehicle God is using to refine and shape my unruly sinful nature.

So, there you have it--a few rambling thoughts for the day. If you're a new mom or a seasoned mom struggling with the ways in which your life has changed, I hope this post will help encourage you to also look at the amazing ways you've changed for the better. Every day, every week, as you tirelessly care for your family, God is continuing His beautiful, refining work in you!

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time 

we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

~Galatians 6:9

Blessings,

~Mere