Lean In, Indeed

**Disclaimer: So I've been trying to write this post for weeks now--the fatigue of pregnancy + taking care of an 11-month-old is certainly impinging on my ability to find quiet, restful time to write! Consequently, this post isn't as in-depth and coherent as I imagined in my mind it would be--just a head's up ;-).


I recently read an article that resonated soundly with me, regarding the whole "Lean In" movement spurred by famed Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. I'll be honest, I have not read her book, nor do I plan on reading it. Ever. But I have a few friends who follow her theories with gusto--and just hearing about their lives, schedules and work makes me feel exhausted.

Like, put-on-my-yoga-pants exhausted (oh wait, I'm already wearing them!).

I'm not discounting her theories entirely. It certainly is tough to be a woman these days. So many voices vie for our attention, telling us what to do and how. Telling us to go out there and "have it all." A large part of my heart feels heavy for my baby girl, knowing this world she's entering, with all its pressure to be some Frankenstein's monster-esq mixture of Giselle Bundchen, Betty Crocker and Hillary Clinton.

As I said, the word exhausted comes to mind.

But I'm not interested in blogging about issues of feminism and gender roles. Rather, this article has had me pondering a different application of "lean in." Namely, what would happen if followers of Christ really leaned in to their faith? To their walk with the LORD? To their relationship with Jesus? What would that look like, and what would be the result?

I don't have the answers, but I'm currently in the middle of my own "lean in" experiment in terms of faith. As I've discussed before, I'm in a bit of an odd season of life. It's a beautiful and blessed season, but also a quiet and sometimes lonely season. I'm about to have two babies in my home, we're miles away from our network of family and friends, and forming new relationships and networks simply takes time.

My initial instinct is to run out and try to join every possible moms group around in an effort to connect and once again find a "place." But the LORD has challenged me to a different response--He's challenged me to put more effort into knowing Him. To developing a deeper relationship with Him. This certainly doesn't mean sitting in my house and making no effort to connect with other people--but for me, what it does mean is changing my primary focus: taking the main focus and effort off of creating a bubble of comfort around myself and instead leaning in to God's word and deepening my friendship with Him.

I continue to be amazed at just how much I desire and seek comfort--and this self-realization makes me sit back and chuckle, because a life abandoned to Christ is pretty much guaranteed to be anything but comfortable! How thankful I am for a God who is wise and loving enough to give us what we need over what we think we need, or what we may want in a moment. Like Paul wrote in Philippians 3:12, I certainly have not arrived at my goal, "but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." And oh, how it feels like pressing on some days!

Pressing, pushing, moving uphill one weary step after another . . . I cling to the words of Hebrews 10:35-36, "So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised." Challenging and comforting words!

I've been a Christian for a long, long time, but as I'm learning, there is so much about Jesus I have yet to learn! To me, that's one of the most thrilling aspects of a life of faith, and of God's word--there is always more to learn, always room to grow. For those willing to lean in, God has a treasure trove of promises and divine mysteries waiting to be discovered! May I find the strength in Him to continue leaning in . . . even if that includes a face plant along the way every now and then ;-).

Blessings,

~Mere

Root Canals, Moving & Pregnancy - Oh My!!

Hello readers!

After a bit of a break, it sure feels nice to be back in this space. To say our March was crazy is a bit of an understatement. The entire past month feels like a blur of boxes, packing tape, exhaustion and so many trips to Target, I lost track a long while ago!

I also learned a very important lesson: root canals, moving and pregnancy do not mix.

Yes, in the midst of the craziness of our move, I had the super fun experience of undergoing my first root canal!! Yikes. I began having some pain back in February, so I went to the dentist (you know, trying to be responsible and on top of things!). He promptly told me it was "no big deal," just some gum pain likely due to pregnancy.

Yeah, he kind of missed the boat on that one! Needless to say, he is no longer my dentist.

So, just days before we officially moved, I found myself scrambling to find a dentist or endodontist who could perform an emergency root canal--on a Friday. Folks, no one in the field of dentistry works on Friday!! But, even in the midst of awful pain, the LORD worked in each detail to bring me to the right person who could provide relief. It certainly wasn't a pleasant experience, but I love how God is so faithful and takes care of His children in all the details, big and small.

The move also proved difficult for me in light of my burgeoning belly. I can honestly say that for 27 weeks, I never "felt pregnant." Most of the time I forgot that I even was pregnant. But the physical labor of packing and moving plus a growing bump made me keenly aware that I am, in fact, quite pregnant. Like anyone, I'm not a big fan of limitations, so it was beyond frustrating to feel so tired and puny when there was so much work to be done!

Thank goodness for my amazing parents!! They truly came to save the day, and along with Aaron, were able to get 'er done, as we say in the South. With this being a local move, we did a lot of the work ourselves, but left the heavy lifting to the moving company. Originally, I thought a local move would be so much easier than a big, cross-country move . . . but I'm afraid that, any way you slice it, moving just plain stinks and will suck the very life out of you when it's all said and done.

But, Praise the LORD that it is, indeed, all said and done!

Our Home Sweet Home!

And as manic as it was, we are now fully settled in our new home, and we love it!!! Mom stayed an extra week with me, and we kicked it into high gear each day, decorating, hanging pictures and putting all of those detailed, final touches on things in order to fully complete the move. With this baby girl arriving quickly, we knew it had to happen now if it would happen at all. I'm beyond thankful for a mom who is so hard-working, and so good with all the details. That is not my forte, and without her, I'm quite certain I would be living here years from now and still not have a single picture or mirror hung on the walls!

We also completed the nursery for sweet baby girl, and everything is in order for her arrival! This is quite a welcomed change from our experience with Isaiah, knowing that we would be moving just one week after his arrival. Moving while pregnant is no fun, but moving at 8 days postpartum is even worse!

I'm incredibly thankful and grateful that we are settled now, and can just enjoy our new home and new neighborhood for a few weeks before chaos ensues and we become a family of four! It's been quite overwhelming to dwell on God's goodness and kindness to us--to see where He's brought us, and the joy He's placed in our lives now, after such a long time of struggle during residency. People say that life is a series of different seasons, and this is my favorite season so far! And considering that life doesn't follow a calendar when it comes to the changing of those seasons, I am trying to enjoy each and every minute of this time of rest and blessing. I'm not trying to sound like a Debbie Downer, but circumstances can change in a heartbeat. Whether wonderful or awful, seasons of life are destined to change!

So, that's the update from here for now, and hopefully more blogging is on the way, now that we're back into a routine. I'll leave you with some of my very favorite scripture from Deuteronomy and a very important reminder to give thanks to the LORD and remember His abundant blessings!

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

When the LORD your God brings you into the land He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you--a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant--then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery."

~Deuteronomy 6:4-12

Blessings,

~Mere