It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To

Hello readers! I hope you are all enjoying the holiday weekend. We have had quite a fun time around our place celebrating Isaiah's birthday! Nothing over the top, just family, close friends, yummy food and plenty of cake and ice cream for all :-).

It was wonderful (and a bit surreal!) to celebrate this little guy's first year of life. He had a blast playing with his friends, trying out all the new toys and digging into some cake! He loved it, of course . . . until he had a bit of a sugar meltdown :-). But it was nothing that a little distraction couldn't fix!

A great time was had by all, and we are so thankful for sweet family and friends who celebrated with us!!

Mimi & Pops with the birthday boy!!

Enjoying his backyard

Loving on Mimi :-)

Pre-gaming for his party by trying out a red velvet cupcake :-)

Ready to celebrate!

Little decorations - a Sesame Street party, of course!

Yummy cake!

And of course he had his own cake and party hat :-)

Playing with his sweet "girlfriend" Emi :-)

And his sweet older "girlfriend" Audrey! Such a ladies man :-)

My precious boy, ready to open his presents :-)

Time to dive in!

Working on that whole concept of sharing... ;-)

A happy birthday boy!

Sweet friends, we're so thankful for y'all!

Family pic! He was a little overwhelmed by all the new toys and attention 

Love <3

More sweet friends for whom we're so thankful!

Digging in!!

Nom nom nom

Hmm, I don't feel so good...

....aaand, meltdown!

Poor baby...but even crying, I think he's just too cute :-)

Finally feeling a little better post-cake :-)

Can't believe our son is a year old! 

Enjoying a little no-pants playtime before crashing for a nice, long afternoon nap :-). What a fun time celebrating!!

I'm very thankful that little sister stayed put :-). Now, we are doing our best to relax and wait for her arrival! I love love love having my mom in town, and I'm so looking forward to some time together before this baby comes.  Hopefully we can get in some last-minute shopping and pedicures :-)

Hard to believe we'll be a family of four is just a short while!!

Blessings,

~Mere

365

Three hundred sixty-five days . . . as of today, my baby has officially been living and breathing on this earth for a full year! Even as I write that sentence, my mind wonders how it can be true. How in the world did my infant son go from baby to 1-year old?! What kind of time-warp is this?

I've thought a lot about what I could say and what I'd want to say, but the truth is, I am so overcome with emotion that I'm not sure this is the forum to spill my guts regarding Isaiah's first year of life. I've already written him a letter about what this year has meant to me as his mother, and suffice it to say, the "ugly cry" was in full effect the entire time I wrote. You know each day and month is precious. You know there's no year like the first year of your firstborn's life. But actually sitting down and putting words to paper (or screen) makes it that much more real.

So I'll spare you from my gush of emotions and memories about each of these past 365 days (you're welcome) and bombard you with pictures instead :-). In short, it's been the most amazing year of all my years on this earth. I've never known love and sacrifice like this. And even though it's only been one year, it feels as though Isaiah has been with us forever. Like he's been a part of my soul for my entire life. I can't remember life before him (cliched, yes, but oh so true), and I don't even want to try and remember. Even all the pain and agony of 2.5 years of infertility were graciously swept away in the moment of His birth. The LORD took that pain and replaced it with a joy so deep, I am overcome.

Ok, so I feel those tears welling up again--enough words, time for some pictures!! Here's the string of month-by-month pics. I love seeing how he's grown from a tiny little peanut into a big, strong boy. And that hair! Ohh that wild hair. Makes this mama's heart happy :-).

Happy happy birthday to our firstborn son!

Our first family pic!

Hello, world :-)

First Birthday!!! 

We can't wait to celebrate with a little party on Saturday! I'm guessing this little dude is going to love digging into his cake :-). More pictures to come!

Mother's Day

So this past weekend, we celebrated my first "official" Mother's Day! Last year, I was very pregnant with Isaiah, so at the time it felt as though I was celebrating . . . but oh, the difference between a baby in your belly and a baby in your arms! Here are a few pics from the day:

Sweet flowers, cards and gift

Family pic! Of course Mr. Vick likes to be in on the action :-).

My precious son--what a gift!

I'm not a huge fan of these types of holidays. So often, they only seem to heap added pressure and stress to our already-busy lives, and they can seem so contrived. Am I to only celebrate my mother one day a year?? Everyday should be Mother's Day or Father's Day, etc. etc. That said, I do like the significance of it being the first one, especially after a couple of years of waiting, longing and hoping. Finally having the title of "mother" is something to celebrate!

Aaron did a wonderful job "spoiling" me with beautiful flowers, a thoughtful gift, and cards from both he and Isaiah ("signed" by Isaiah's handprint, too sweet!). And as if that wasn't enough, we had the opportunity to have Isaiah dedicated at church that Sunday! I can't think of a better way to celebrate God's gift of motherhood than by lifting up His precious gift to us and publicly committing Isaiah into His loving hands. The words of 1 Samuel 1:27-28 washed over my mind and heart all day:

"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of Him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD."

For me, it was a profoundly beautiful and symbolic moment--and a kind, gentle reminder that ultimately, our sweet Isaiah is in the LORD's hands. As his mother, I may think I am in control of his life; but truthfully, he has been entrusted to me as a gift--a most amazing gift!

This week also brought with it another reminder of my role as steward and not possessor of my children. Throughout this pregnancy, I have gained less weight and been generally smaller than I was with Isaiah. This has garnered a lot of comments regarding my size--something that initially felt like a compliment, but over time, hearing "you're too small!" can start to get to you. You can imagine my panic then at my weekly appointment on Monday, when I did in fact measure smaller than I should for this point in the pregnancy . . . which prompted my doctor to order a growth and fluid check ultrasound immediately. She assured me that it was probably nothing at all--often when the baby drops, you'll measure a little smaller--but just to be on the safe side, we needed to make sure baby girl was doing alright.

Leaving the doctor, I felt that heavy, nauseating pit rattling around in the bottom of my stomach. My mind flooded with so many questions, concerns, "what if's" . . . ohh those weighty "what if's," that have the power to consume and swallow us up whole! The enemy was certainly having a field day in my mind, capitalizing on many of my already-held fears.

That 24-hour period between my appointment and follow-up ultrasound was quite a faith test for me--I had to come face to face with what I really and truly believe about God at my very core. If the news was bad, how would I respond? How would I feel? Would I be able to say, even with a grieving heart, that I believe God is good in all circumstances? Even when the news is bad? 

I would love to be able to tell you that right away I cried "YES" and felt zero fear . . . but I did in fact feel fear! For me, it was such a reminder and wake-up call to remember that these babies are in God's hands. They belong to Him. He has purposes for their lives--and that purpose is not to make me, as their mother, happy! I realize this is very basic spiritual truth--but the love you feel for your children is so huge and so overwhelming and so consuming, it's easy to forget this truth. I find myself wanting to close up my fists tightly around them and like a toddler, cry "mine!" 

I have found that being a parent brings you into a whole new realm of faith and trust in Christ. Surrendering yourself is a piece of cake compared to surrendering your children...your flesh and blood. I have to say, the story of Abraham and Isaac takes on incredible new meaning on this side of parenthood; and Abraham knew the agony of waiting, praying and waiting some more for a son! Is it any wonder that his faith was credited to him as righteousness?! The same is true, of course, of our Heavenly Father, who graciously gave us His own son. If you've ever had any doubts as to His love for us, this act of sacrifice should clear that right up!

Amazing love, O what sacrifice

The Son of God, given for me.

My debt He paid and my death He died,

That I might live!

I am humbled and deeply grateful that this time, the news for us was good. Baby girl looked wonderful and healthy on ultrasound--she's just going to be a tiny peanut, exactly like her brother! Who, I might add, has had no trouble whatsoever plumping up over the past year :-). I am of course beyond thankful for good news, but even more than that, I am thankful for this gentle reminder that our son and daughter belong to the LORD. Their lives are ultimately in His hands. As parents, it's the job of Aaron and myself to teach, train, shepherd and love, love, love their little hearts and minds straight into the arms of their Heavenly Father. Just as my hope for myself is to find God's "Plan A" will for my life, so I desire that they too will discover and fulfill God's ultimate and best in their lives!

Ohh, parenthood--what a ride! I'm realizing I better take a deep breath and hold on tight, as we're just getting started with this journey. 

I hope that each of you had a blessed Mother's Day and that this post will somehow encourage you today!

Blessings,

~Mere