Theme Song

I'm forever amazed at the power of music in our lives. One chorus from an old song, and I'm right back in my childhood home on Fitzpatrick Way, singing along in the shower thanks to our super-cool water-proof shower radio (remember those?).

I hear another song, and I'm immediately transported to my college dorm room, dancing around with my roommate and being silly. Another, and I'm back in my law school's law review office, laughing with my best friend (and putting off all the reading, writing, and editing yet to be done). Songs can become a part of your life, woven in to all of the emotions, circumstances, and events from a period in time.

Recently, I was reminded of this concept, when a particular soundtrack brought me back to a really icky, awful time in my life and marriage--the infamous summer of 2009. After a great day of being out and about as a family, Aaron flipped his iPod to a movie soundtrack--a great one, indeed--yet immediately, I was flooded with all kinds of awful emotions. Like a big wet blanket, covering me from head to toe. It took me a minute to realize why I suddenly felt so "icky." It was stunning to me, really, how just a few songs took me back to that time in our marriage, even though several years have passed since walking that valley.

Poor guy, he had no idea, and of course felt awful! He immediately changed the playlist to Keane's "Strangeland," an album we listened to all the way across the country when we moved to California in 2012. The whole experience led to a great conversation about just how far we've come, how incredibly good God has been to us, and how thankful we are to have weathered that storm and come out on the other side.

At any rate, all of this leads me to an explanation of this blog's title. It's been a long time since I've had an overarching "theme song" for my life.

Enter Hillsong United's incredible tune, "Oceans."

If you're not familiar with this song, I strongly encourage you to check it out at the end of this post. Never has a song so perfectly captured the cry of my heart, and my stage in life. We are in a season of wonderful blessings, but those blessings are also tinged with a bittersweet undertone. We waited and longed to have children, and now God has given us a son and a daughter . . . yet we're 2,500 miles from our beloved family and friends. He has blessed us with our dream home . . . I just never imagined that home would be in California of all places!

It's a challenge for me not to dwell on how different things would be if we still lived in Atlanta. When I'm feeling lonely, it's very easy to let my mind think of the endless brunches with girlfriends, Sunday lunches with families, shopping trips with mom, etc. etc. etc. Isaiah would spend tons of time with his grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles. Life would look much different than it does from our quiet life here in California. Sometimes, God's timing makes me sit back and scratch my head a little.

But I'm far enough along in my walk with Him to know that He is about so much more than our earthly comfort and immediate happiness. He has purposes far greater than anything we could dream . . . and I want to see those purposes fulfilled, even if it means life doesn't look exactly like I thought or planned. As the lyrics state,

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me."

For now, we have been called to live here, not Atlanta. To be parents to two precious children. To pull together as husband and wife, father and mother to our blessings, without regular help from our families. We have already seen our faith grow in ways it never would have, were we still living in the comfort of the South. It's been amazing to see what God has done thus far--and I look forward to watching all He will do in the future, as we trust in Him and embrace everything about where we are right now.

"In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

So that's all for now--watch this video and be encouraged by the words and their beautiful truth!

Blessings,

~Mere

My Funny Valentine

Last week, I stared in amazement at the calendar and realized that Aaron and I would be celebrating our 10th Valentine's Day together. 

How did that happen??

I still feel like that young, twenty-something-year-old girl (well, every now and then), but that's neither here nor there . . .

In reflecting on our celebration this year, I've had to sit back and chuckle at the difference between now and 10 years ago:

This year, there was no card, no flowers, and no chocolate (although the no chocolate was per my own request!). There was no reservation at a fancy, stuffy restaurant serving price-fixed meals at an exorbitant rate.

Instead, we simply decided to go see a movie, something that--like so many people delighted in telling us would happen--we haven't done in a long time. All day long on Friday, I was filled with excitement and anticipation at our impending date night!! And though I told Aaron that I wanted to keep Valentine's Day low-key this year, like any girl whose watched too many chick flicks, I secretly hoped he would lavish all kinds of surprises on me throughout the day.

No such luck.

Turns out, when you tell your practical and very busy husband that you don't want flowers or chocolate, guess what? You're not going to get flowers and chocolate. Seriously, people, Hollywood has messed us up in regards to expectations! As I write that sentence, I am literally laughing at myself, that I was disappointed in not receiving flowers this year, after telling my husband not to worry about it.

Aaanyway, as the evening unfolded, it proved to be its own comedy of errors. Aaron got stuck in clinic and was running late. The traffic was a total nightmare. We arrived at the theater, only to discover that the Fandago machine was broken, so we still had to wait in line to pick up our pre-purchased tickets!

As we finally settled into the very back row, far right corner of the theater, crammed in next to a couple of sullen strangers, we couldn't help but burst out in an inappropriate, stare-inducing chuckle (from the aforementioned sullen strangers) at how the night had gone thus far.

After the movie, with time running out for our sitter, we decided to grab a quick bite at the not-so-hopping Hoppy Brewing Company. For a moment, you would have thought it was a "men's only" night, as the vast majority of patrons consisted of groups of guys drinking beer and pretending not to watch the men's Olympic figure skating that played in the background.

I held back laughter as I covered my growing belly with my jacket and tried my best not to crack when ordering a margarita (relax, folks, I had 2 sips--Aaron finished it). We both laughed until we cried over the pulled pork sliders that were so spicy hot, I'm quite certain they could have set a small pile of kindling on fire. And as the clock neared 10 pm, both of us yawning like kindergartners in need of a nap, we happily paid our bill and headed home--the place we wanted to be the most :-).

That's real life, folks. It was a simple night out, one without fanfare and fru-fru. It was just what I'd asked for--uninterrupted time out with my husband. Yet the expectations of the almighty "Valentine's Day" tempted my heart to feel frustration and discontentment over not receiving elaborate flowers and gifts, etc. That tiny seed of discontentment could easily have grown and overshadowed the one thing that really mattered--being together and connecting with one another.

As always, I'm so thankful for my mom, whose wisdom and encouragement never cease to provide clarity and perspective. We discussed how easily Satan can use something like the trappings of Valentine's Day to stir the pot of self-focus. And how silly! Like so many holidays in our modern society, we tend to lose the true meaning in the midst of all the "to do's."

So this Valentine's Day will be one we reflect on with humor, more so for what it wasn't than for what it was. And whether my husband is surprising me with beautiful pearls (one of his best and most surprising gifts through the years!), or sending lovely flowers to my work, or simply working his hardest to make it home in time for us to catch a movie together--I am thankful to have had him as my valentine for all these years . . . and hopefully for many more to come!

Blessings,

~Mere

A Fresh Start

Hello readers! Or future readers, I should say, since no one really knows about this blog as I type at the moment...it's my own little secret.

If you've been following me on my previous personal blog or my creative writing blog, I'm guessing you are rolling your eyes right about now.

Another blog?? Umm, you haven't really blogged substantive material since the birth of your son.

Ok, well true--I'll give you that one. But as a lifelong believer in fresh starts and new beginnings, I'm turning over a new leaf here.

Yes, a new leaf in the midst of another impending move, and the forthcoming arrival of our second baby (to complete our set of Irish twins), and a life that only seems to get busier as the weeks go by. . .

Nevertheless, I am determined to begin writing again. Over the past 5 years, blogging has been such a fantastic outlet for me. I have loved sharing the highs and lows of life, putting it all out there (even when sometimes uncomfortable!) in an effort to let God work through my circumstances and hopefully use my life as an encouragement to others.

So much of the time, social media is used as yet another way we humans try to make ourselves feel better by putting bells and whistles on our very best pictures and very best moments and shoving it all out in front of our "friends" as a way to say see, look at me! I have pretty pictures and shiny children and super-cool friends! Isn't my life perfect! But we all know that no one has a perfect life (Kate Middleton aside, of course). My desire in blogging has always been to strive for a transparent and honest voice: celebrating the highs, striving for faith in the lows, and humbly embracing the non-eventful hum-drum of life.

When I first began blogging, I was in the lowest low I've ever experienced . . . thanks be to the LORD, I'm at the opposite end of that pendulum now. But I've lived enough to know that no phase or season of life is static, especially for a follower of Jesus. He wants to see our faith soar--and for that to occur, we must experience mountain highs and valley lows. Our only constant is Him. And thank goodness, He is the only constant we need!

So, with that, I'll wrap up my rambling. I'm very much looking forward to getting back into the swing of blogging. And, not to worry, it isn't all going to be serious and heavy--I'll be posting plenty of pics and stories about my little guy and princess-to-be. Like any parent, I'm over the moon for my children and think they pretty much rock, even in the womb :-).

Blessings!

~Mere